I feel like all I've been doing since last January (of 2009) is waiting.... Waiting for that positive test to say that we are to be parents... But a year an a half later... I'm still waiting.
Ever since we threw out the birth control, I feel like our lives have been on hold... we haven't wanted to plan too far in advance, because we were hoping we'd become pregnant... and a baby changes everything!
My husband and I had been looking into selling our townhome and buying a larger single family home. We had even met with a realtor and then the next day found out that our chance of conceiving naturally was less than one percent. So needless to say that those plans are on hold. Why spend all that money on a large single family house if we can't fill it? So now we are waiting to see what happens with IVF before we make those kinds of decisions.
I've also been wanting to change the area I work it. As a critical care nurse, these three to four stressful twelve hour shifts a week are KILLING me! As a nurse, we are lucky that there are many specialties that we can work in. I haven't applied to any new areas because I didn't want to get a new job, then get pregnant and want to go on maternity leave nine months later. Plus, I have been extremely lucky that my current manager is working with my schedule with the upcoming cycle... Plus I can't complain... my insurance is covering the majority of our IVF. Through this experience though, I have found what I truly want to do. I would like to work in an infertility clinic. Finding out you may never have children is devastating and the whole process, with all the shots, blood tests, ultrasounds, etc can be scary and intimidating. I feel like after going through the process that so many other couples have gone through it will just make me a better nurse and person.
And now I'm waiting some more. Waiting for my period to start so we can get this cycle started! The closer I get to the date it is SUPPOSE to start, the more nervous I'm getting. I feel like I am not having any of my pre-period symptoms... so I'm just hoping its not thinking about skipping a month or taking its time!
3 comments:
Waiting is the hardest part of TTC. Far too often my husband and I didn't make plans in the future because we were convinced we'd be pregnant by then or even have a baby! And now, it's taken over 2-1/2 years to finally get to the point of being pregnant. It's such an awful waiting game. Every month felt awful...divided into pre-ovulation and post-ovulation. Keep your head up during your wait. :) Because, hey, once you're pregnant...the waiting continues! :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm a nurse too and also would love to work at an infertility clinic. My problem is, the closest one from me (the one I go to) is 1.5 hours away. That would be quite a commute! :(
That's awesome that your manager works with you on your schedule. I quit my job in November so that I could do IVF. It's not that they wouldn't work with me, it's that I didn't ask. I had only been at the hospital since July (graduated in May) and there was another girl there going through IVF to be a surrogate who had to take off a lot, and they were upset another new hire who didn't tell them she was pregnant.(I worked in the OR so we had a 6 month training period to go through and she would have to quit in the middle of her training period.) So I thought, instead of wasting their time, I'd just quit so they could hire someone else that could train without interruptions. But now I worry that having only worked 4 months after nursing school, I may never be able to find a job as an RN again!
Wow, didn't mean to unload on you! ;) Hoping your period starts soon so that you can get started on IVF!
Thank you for your kind comment on my blog...I hope you won't be waiting much longer :)
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