Beta #3

At 19dpo (or 16dpt3dt) my third and final beta was 971 - for a doubling time of 42hrs.  I am still paranoid this is low or not a quick enough doubling time, even though all websites I read say a normal doubling time is every 48-72hrs.  I need to stop googling blogs and different forums!  Everyone is different... so I need to stop comparing!  It is just stressing me out!  Anywho- ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday... this is going to be a LONG week!

My mom is soo funny.  Her and I are super close.  She has come in for at least one part of each IVF process (after the first one, she came in for the transfer, and after this one she came in after my retrieval - since my hubby couldn't really take off work afterwards).  She knows everything - and I pretty much talk to her on a daily basis.  She was the second (and only) person I told after my first positive pregnancy test.  After talking to my husband about the results of my betas, I always call my mom next.  Today I was talking with her- telling her my concerns about my numbers.  She started reading off all these blogs about ladies who have similar numbers to what I have had who have gone on to have healthy pregnancies, and even twins!  She told me today that she is officially addicted to reading infertility blogs- and that is pretty much all she has been doing everyday for the past week!  I told her, I know exactly how it is - because I was there too- especially after we were diagnosed and told IVF was our only hope!  I just hope she doesn't accidentally come across my blog! :)

Here is a pic of me and my mom...

People say we look like sisters/twins... she has always loved that! :)

Beta #2

Beta #2 came back 448... doubling time of 41hrs (at 15dp3dt).

I am soooo freaked out/nervous/stressed.

I feel like the numbers are on the lower side, or they aren't doubling fast enough, or that something will go wrong.  Everything I have read says that the numbers/doubling time are fine, but I feel like compared to the blogs I read, it is lower.  I need to stop googling and reading blogs!!  It is stressing me out!

I go back Wednesday for Beta #3 and if it still looks good, then ultrasound next week.

Praying... Praying.... Praying.... This is all in God's hands -- I need to stop trying to take control because I can't.

Since I'm stressed- I am posting pictures of a much less stressful place/time...

These are from our Mediterranean Adventure last fall... about a month or two before we got diagnosed.  I thought- we are going on vacation... we are relaxed.... there will be lots of wine... we'll definitely come back pregnant!  Little did I know...

 The coast of Greece... It was beautiful

 In front of the Parthenon- on the Acropolis in Athens

 Some of the coast of Greece- on our way to the Temple of Poseidon

Beautiful Greek Sunset over the Mediterranean

The Two Week Wait is OVER!

I have been meaning to post earlier, but I just couldn't.  I was nervous, scared, excited, but was scared... scared to say anything or get excited or anything - because I was scared it would end.

8dp3dt...
Horrible cramping and pressure in the "pooch" over last couple days.  I just felt... "off."  Today would have been the first day I could have had a positive pregnancy test so I did it.  I told the hubby I wouldn't, but I couldn't hold out any longer.... faint positive.  VERY faint.  But I had never seen anything that close to a positive in my whole life, so WTF?  I started crying, thanking God.  I knew this was from Him.  I took a picture of it and sent it to my husband.  I called him right afterwards- he was busy at work so he wasn't happy that I was calling him.  As he was telling me he didn't have time to check his email, we lost connection.  He called back two minutes later and was like... I don't get it. The picture wasn't good quality, so it was hard to see the faint line.  He was kinda upset, that I tested, and said he wasn't going to get too excited until the blood test.  I agreed, trying not to get too excited.  I knew the possiblity of things ending were high.

9dp3dt
Continued pressure and cramping in the pooch area.  It is also sticking out and I can't suck it in.  I took my last first response test in the morning, and it was definitely darker than the day before.  I was excited, but still didn't believe it.  My husband and I didn't even talk about it - I think because we were both so scared that it would end.  My POAS obsession had started though- I went out and bought more tests (ept test were the cheapest- so I went with those).

10dp3dt
I took an EPT in the morning- it was the one witht he +/- sign.  It was so faint that I felt like I was imagining the plus sign.  I had to go to work that morning and the whole 12hr shift sucked.  I was miserable and kept thinking it was over.  Chemical pregnancy.  I continued to have cramping and pressure, but developed a more severe pain on my right side.  It was really bad when my bladder was full (and especially after I peed) and sometimes when I moved too quickly.  I also hadn't done #2 in a few, so I was miserable.  I told my husband that I thought I wasn't pregnant anymore.  He got upset with me for being so negative... On my way home I picked up the first response tests again and took it as soon as I got home from work.  Definitely two lines.  Showed the hubby and promised I would try to be more optimistic.

11dpt3dt
Tested again- two lines.  Not feeling any different except a lot of pressure/cramping in the pooch.  Sometimes I feel like I have certain food aversions, but I don't know if it is just in my head.  The thought of cereal for breakfast the last few days has not been exciting, so I have driven to Chik-fil-a for breakfast.  I dunno...  Getting a little more excited, but trying not to... Unfortunantly kept thinking about chemical and ectopic pregnancies...

12dpt3dt -- Beta Day
I didn't get any sleep the night before.  I woke up at 3am and couldn't fall back asleep.  I was so stressed out.  I was worried the number was going to be too low, it wasn't going to double... worried I was having an ectopic pregnancy... I was so stressed out, I was making myself sick.  I took another test in the morning and couldn't tell if it was darker than the last or not.... more stress.  At 7- we finally left and got to the doctor - 45min away.  So, the nurse ends up telling me that they don't do those tests on the weekend.  I was like, why did you schedule my for the weekend then?  She said she didn't know, but that they don't do tests.  I was really upset- I told her that no one called me, I drove 45min on a SATURDAY morning for this test, and if they didn't run the test, thenI would take a lab form to the hospital where I work (down the street) and get them to draw the test for me.  She was like, fine, handed my my lab slip and said they would go ahead and draw it as an "emergency test."  What kind of lab doesn't run HCG on a weekend- I dunno...

afterwards- my husband went car shopping.  Our car was officially totalled on Thursday by the insurrance company and we have to give our rental back soon, so Saturday was pretty much our only day.

A few ours later- the nurse called with the results.  201... our beta was 201.  We were officially pregnant.  We still have to go for a test on Monday and Wednesday to make sure it doubles....

I AM SCARED TO DEATH IT ISN'T GOING TO DOUBLE.... I know this is in God's hands, and whatever happens is part of his plan, but I keep praying that this is really happening and we get to meet our little baby in 9months. 

Soooo... not getting too excited yet, but praying and keeping my fingers crossed!

I hope everyone else had a good weekend!