Boys are Taking Over the World....

23 weeks, 1 day pregnant today....

This post has been LONG overdue!









Our very first scan!
We're officially pregnant!



Sooo... a few weeks ago we had our anatomy scan!  At our VERY FIRST scan in July (hard to believe it has been that long)- the hubby and I both immediately thought BOY.  I don't know what it was, but we just had that feeling.  Of course we didnt' really care what the baby was- all I wanted was a healthy baby in my arms at the end of this journey.... I don't know if people really mean that when they say it, but after suffering through infertility and knowing that you might never have that chance to hold your own baby- you could care less whether you have a boy or girl in the end- you just want your child.

As the date grew closer and closer- I became more and more nervous that they would find something wrong (it doesn't help that I use my doppler pretty frequently and a few times have caught decels on it- to <100 for a few seconds- which I have googled and saw that other posts say they are normal unless it is sustained -- and I can't talk to my OB about it because they would tell me not to use them-- for exactly this kind of a freak out!).  But that is besides the point.  This whole pregnancy I have been anxious about something going wrong to the point where I don't think I really let myself enjoy being pregnant for the first parts.... ANYWAYS... back to the scan...

As the day grew closer, my husband and I still had a feeling this little baby was a boy... but then I started thinking... every single person that my husband and/or I know in the past year that has had a baby- it has been a boy except for TWO... everyone acquaintance/friend on facebook that has been pregnant/given birth- it has been a boy... Two of my husband's best guy friends each had a boy a week apart in October... My husband's step sister (and the only person to have kids on his side of the family so far) has two boys (the youngest was born this past March)... not to mention that it seems like almost all the bloggers I am following that are pregnant- are pregnant with boys... So was it really statistically possible that we would have a boy too?  I felt like, with so many boys being born lately- there was NO WAY we could be pregnant with a boy!  But we got to the ultrasound and one of the first things we saw....



The money shot- I'm a BOY!!

Yup... he's a boy!

Here are the rest of the pictures from our ultrasound.  He was very cooperative and sucked his thumb for the majority of the ultrasound.

We will be very curious to see who's nose he has (my husband and I both have big noses!)



He was opening and closing his mouth and the ultrasound tech said she could see his tongue moving around (I couldn't though! LOL)



Sucking his thumb...

Sucking his thumb some more...

I couldn't rotate this picture- but he was playing with his hands and face in this one.....

I still haven't been feeling consistent movement by him.  During the ultrasound they said I had an anterior placenta and when I was googling lack of movement -- I did read that anterior placentas make it much harder to feel early movements.  I feel him a few times daily now, but I think I will feel much better when it is more consistent.  Until then I have my doppler.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.  I feel so blessed and I have so much to be thankful for!



Back from Spain!!

Well, hubby and I are back from our close to two weeks vacation in Spain... and with that two weeks closer to meeting our little one!

I will be twenty weeks on Friday!  I can't believe it.  We find out if our little baby is a boy or girl at our big ultrasound next Thursday!  Can't wait!

I will update on our Spain vacation over the weekend... I have recovered from Jet Lag just enough to have a full week of work - two shifts down, two more to go!  Ugh.  Joys of nursing.... Some pics to pass the time!

Madrid from the roof deck of our hotel

Plaza Mayor - Madrid

Our resort on the Meditteranean in Costa del Sol, Spain

On the boardwalk in Costa del Sol, Spain

The Alhambra, Granada, Spain

Seville Cathedral - the third largest cathedral in the world

At lunch in Morocco - we took a day trip there since the ferry was only about 1.5hr from our hotel

Where the Meditteranean and Atlantic Ocean meets - in Tangier, Morocco

Our First Baby (aka... THE DOG!!)

I've been meaning to show ya'll for a while...

We went to Pittsburgh a few weeks ago to tell the hubby's dad the good news.  Unfortunantly there isn't much to tell, because if I am wearing regular clothes- the boobs just give it away (either boob implants or pregnant... but soon- the stomach will definitely prove its the second option)...

While in Pittsburgh we went to the most awesome dog park that we had ever been too- Check it out if you are ever in/around that area-- http://www.mistypinesdogpark.com/

I had to share some pictures and videos.  A little background first- Sidney absolutely loves the water.  That is probably an understatement, but she does.  She has her own little pool (baby pool) that she loves to spash around/lay in especially when it is hot.  My friend has a swimming pool that the first thing Sidney does when we get to her house- is jump in the pool.  She loves the water so much, that we'd consider buying a house with a pool- mostly for her enjoyment! ;) 

This dog park has a little play area in one part and then a little lake with a dock in the second part.  She's never "dock dived" before, so we didn't know if she would go off it or not... but she definitely tried!!  It was more like running to the end and falling off the dock, but she loved it and kept doing it again and again.  Like any proud mommy/daddy- we were there with the camera snapping away and taking videos...

Ok enough of my blabbing- her is our Princess- spoiled rotten baby- Sidney (the "strawberry blonde" lab)

Look mom- I got a ball!!



About to jump off the dock




My new friend- a black lab



Playing with my new friend on the dock



Waiting for daddy to throw the ball!



2 Weeks Worth of Updates and Pictures!

So it is time for me to update again!  Long post- but I've included pictures!  It is just so hard for me to get to a computer lately, and my phone definitely doesn't make it easy to post from!

Anyways, 14 weeks and 4 days pregnant today... the anxiety is slowly going away, but I still feel like this is too good to be true... I have yet to believe this is really happening still (besides the fact my clothes don't really fit)... I did end up getting a doppler.  I will admit, I was totally OBSESSED with it at first... but my obsession has calmed down.  I check it about daily, or every other day- and I didn't even bring it on our weekend trip to New York this past weekend!  I had my second OB appointment this past Thursday.  I peed in a cup, got my vitals done, got called back, met with the OB (who I have to say was absolutely beautiful), she asked me if I had any concerns, and then found the babies heartbeat with the doppler.  Then said, alright, I'll see ya next time... I was like uhhh.... whaaat!?  I walked out and by the time I got to my car was thinking to myself... that doesn't seem right.  I tried to call them back, but since I was the last appointment that day they were closed, so I called on Friday.  I asked to speak to the nurse (I think she would understand a little bit more) but of course the doctor called me back... I was just like- uh- the appointment just seemed a little "quick." I was under the impression that we needed to check more "stuff?" She was like, there really isn't that much to assess before you are 20 weeks, so they just listen for the heartbeat and thats that.  Oh well.  I guess I'm going to have to get used to that.  Next appointment is October 13 (litterally like 4hrs before going to Spain!)

As I said in the previous post, we had our NT scan at 12.5 weeks done.  Took forever to receive the official results, but I was able to access the ultrasound results. It said we were measuring a week ahead and that everything from the ultrasound perspective looked normal.  Once I got the offiicial results- the doctors said everything with the blood test and ultrasound looks normal. 



Definitely doesn't show how bad
it was!  If you can see the mini-
cooper car at the top- it was stuck
and its owner was having to push



The day that I had my NT scan happened to be the day that a tropical depression or something was sitting over the state of Maryland.  After my scan, my husband called and was like don't leave, there is flooding everywhere, its really unsafe, blah blah.  It hardly raining that hard where I was, and I always thought people who got stuck in flash floods were stupid people who drove through standing water... SOOOO... I didn't listen to my husband and drove to meet two of my girlfriends at Panera for lunch.  It had just started pouring when I reached Panera, so rushed inside, met my friends, ordered food and sat down.  Well, within about ten minutes of sitting down, we saw water literally rushing into the parking lot.  We were confused, because we couldn't see where all that water was coming from.  Well..... it turns out that the street that Panera is off of was flooding/ed and everytime a car went through it water would rush into the parking lot.  We hurried, went to the bathroom, gathered our things and decided to leave.  By the time we were leaving water was coming into the Panera and cars on the road where the flooding was- were stuck.  All I could think was- my husband is going to kill me!!!! Luckly- there was another road out of the Panera- because if the flooding was just a little furthur up- I would have been stuck!



This is from inside the Panera looking at the street- the water was
up past the tires on this oversized truck.  It was one of the last cars that
was able to make it through the water before it got too deep.  By the
time we left, water was up to the window that I was looking out of!



I've started exercising again.... well just walking.  On my days off work I have been going walking and have been doing five miles on those days.  I don't exercise on the days that I do work, because 12hr shifts are draining all the energy out of me.  I usually get home from those around 8:15pm and I'm asleep on the couch after dinner by 9:15pm... my husband just loves that. :)

One MAJOR frustration is my clothing situation.  By the time we had started my second IVF, I was already the heaviest that I had ever been.... But it was summer time and I could get away with wearing shorts/tshirts, comfy dressess most of the time.  Well, not anymore.  Most of my jeans are just not that comfortable - even with the belly band- and then I feel like it just looks all lumpy where the buttons are.  Plus... my shirts have always been nice and tight and fitted (I used to have a flat stomach!).  Well, I can't wear those anymore.  Even if the shirts weren't as tight, my boobs are seriously like three times bigger than they ever have been and just don't fit into my normal clothes.  Definitely going to get into maternity pants this week, but once it gets cooler- I'll be able to wear my sweaters/cardigans for a while.  I'll just have to get new shirts for under them.



This is from like 13.5 weeks!  Yikes!

We have gotten a couple of baby things... When we were in Tenne.ssee after we told my sisters and brother the good news, the next day my sister suprised us with little Unive.rsity of Tenne.ssee booties and hat.  They look awfully small.  I really hope the baby can fit in it! (My mom had large babies for all four of her kids- I was 8lbs and then my husband was almost 10lbs).  Uh oh!  Then we went to a college reunion for my husband at his college- so we had to get something for the baby there too (well a couple of things- one for newborn and one for  a little bit bigger!)...

My mother-in-law also gave us a little "starter kit" with some newborn diapers, wipes, a picture frame and some little white tshirt kinda things...

I am definitely nervous of dealing with my mother-in-law.  I see how she acts with my husbands step-sister's kids.  I call her a baby snatcher.  As soon as you walk through the door- she snatches the kid and carries it around the whole time until it is time for you to leave.  Now I dunno, maybe at a certain point you are happy to give your kids up, but for some reason, I don't feel like I'm going to be one of those people.  I just feel like she is a little bossy/demanding about stuff.  I dunno.  I'm sure everyone has issues, and I'm sure that I might even have some issues with my mom's behaviors too... but we'll see.  I have another 6months to prepare myself! LOL.

The biggest news of all though.... The hubby and I have decided to put our house up for sale!!!  We (well I) have been unofficially looking at houses for a while now.  My husband reworked the budget- and decided if there is a chance that I might stay out of work for longer that my scheduled maternity leave or even longer... than the houses we had been looking at are way too expensive.  That kind of sucked, since the DC suburbs are SUPER expensive.  I started looking at some cheaper options- and I found a few that are in good locations (for my husband's commute to DC- there is no such thing as a good location, but there are some very BAD locations) and are reasonablely priced.  Of course they need some updating- but at that price range we could easily do (especially while I'm still working).  I sent a few to my hubby and he got excited- so called up our realator and decided to put the house up for sale.  So we'll see where that goes!

So that is a lot of information, but that should make up for the last two weeks of not posting right!? :)

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Oh, also- we are leaving for Spain two and a half weeks!  -- but I'll save that for another post...

Beta #2

Beta #2 came back 448... doubling time of 41hrs (at 15dp3dt).

I am soooo freaked out/nervous/stressed.

I feel like the numbers are on the lower side, or they aren't doubling fast enough, or that something will go wrong.  Everything I have read says that the numbers/doubling time are fine, but I feel like compared to the blogs I read, it is lower.  I need to stop googling and reading blogs!!  It is stressing me out!

I go back Wednesday for Beta #3 and if it still looks good, then ultrasound next week.

Praying... Praying.... Praying.... This is all in God's hands -- I need to stop trying to take control because I can't.

Since I'm stressed- I am posting pictures of a much less stressful place/time...

These are from our Mediterranean Adventure last fall... about a month or two before we got diagnosed.  I thought- we are going on vacation... we are relaxed.... there will be lots of wine... we'll definitely come back pregnant!  Little did I know...

 The coast of Greece... It was beautiful

 In front of the Parthenon- on the Acropolis in Athens

 Some of the coast of Greece- on our way to the Temple of Poseidon

Beautiful Greek Sunset over the Mediterranean

Here We Go Again...

Wow... I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted.  I keep thinking of posts I want to write, but just haven't really found the energy to make it down to the basement where we keep our computer and turn it on!  Plus, I feel like I've been busy with work and other things.  But anyways... Surprisingly, AF showed up this morning.  A week early (well for me- since my cycles are usually about 36-38 days).  The closer and closer we had been getting to starting this cycle the more nervous I had been getting.  I don't know why I am so much more apprehensive about this cycle then the last.  I even called my husband at work asking him if he wanted to postpone it a month.  In the end, I decided to proceed- called my RE and scheduled my first appointment for tomorrow morning.  If its going to be negative- then I don't think it matters how long we wait- so we may as well get it over with so I can start moving on with my next plans (changing insurances, switching RE's, hubby getting a varicocele repair, traveling, etc).  I feel like it is amazing how many things we put on hold while trying to have a baby.  It is almost like life is on hold.  I truly believe that God has a plan for me (us) and this is part of his plan.  I have no idea why this is the path he has chosen for me, but I believe that I am on this journey for a reason.  I don't know if this will end with our biological child(ren), adopted children, or childless.  I feel like I could accept this so much easier if I understood why (and if I knew what the outcome was going to be!), but that is just not the way He works.  I have been wanting to write a post along those lines for sometime now, but still haven't been able to formulate the right words... so I guess that is just a little preview of what is to come (someday)....

Besides working, we traveled to the lake last weekend with two of our best couple friends (also in our small group at church).  One of the girl's parents  own a lake house, so it was tons of fun (and free!).  Even though it was rainy most of the days- we still had a TON of fun just hanging out with each other and just "getting away."  Here are some pictures of this past weekend.  They were all taken with my phone- so not the best pictures- but I have been too lazy to upload the camera pics yet!

 Of Course no trip is complete without finding a Sonic in the middle of nowhere!  Gotta have my Lemon-Berry Slushes!  There isn't a Sonic near us, so whenever we pass one, I HAVE to stop and take advantage of it- with a Route 44 slush!  Who knows when I'll be able to find one again!

 The first day at the lake!  Absolutely beautiful!

 Another view of the lake on the first day we got there!  (The only day it was sunny- but we still had a blast!)

 Wouldn't be complete without a little bit of cornhole.  My dad made these sets for Joe and I.  One is painted all Tennessee (for me) and the other one is painted a Marist "Red Fox" theme (for Joe).  I always have to explain that one to everyone.  I don't think anyone has ever seen Marist cornhole.  :)  (Tennessee always wins of course!)  If you ever go down to Game Day in Knoxville, your tailgate is not complete without a set of Orange and White Cornhole.

Fog rolling in over the lake after a day of storms... (and the girls kicking some boy butts at CatchPhrase).

Pretty Nice Little Saturday...

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.  -- Frank from "Old School"

=-=-=-=-=-=-

So, I had been trying to update my blog, but was having some difficult time signing in- especially from my phone.  So I am posting now about my weekend!  (Like I said- I'm a pretty boring person!)

In Infertility news- I finally called my RE.  She apologized for not getting to me sooner.  She thought the hubby's urologist was going to call us about the vari.cocele repair (which she didn't, either).  We talked and she really wanted us to get the repair done and then try another cycle, since she thinks our poor embryos were because of his sperm and didn't want us to "waste" anymore insurrance money.  I said I am hopping on my husband's insurrance at the end of this year and we can't get the repair done until late fall anyways because of our schedules- and that I wanted to do one more IVF now - but this time with closer monitoring and "good eggs."  She at least did admit that my eggs were of very poor quality this time.  She decided it was reasonable. So, we are good to go to start with my next cycle in June (which should be towards the end) as long as my labs and ultrasound look good (with no cysts!).

This past weekend was good.  It had stormed all week and we both had been working hard, so we were looking forward to Saturday. We had a big day of yardwork!  The day was beautiful (especially compared to the past week's weather).  We got up, I ran four miles (yeah!) and then we headed to Lowe's.  We worked all afternoon and Sidney dog hung out with us.  We filled up her pool and she played in it all afternoon.  I guess I'm a LITTLE obsessed with my dog- so I wanted to share the pics with you guys!

In other news- I think hubby AND I are going to try acupuncture.  I'm just waiting to see if his insurrance covers it (which I think they do).  If it can help women with infertility issues- maybe it can help a man?  I dunno! I guess it can't hurt to try!?  I am also trying to plan a vacation for this fall.  We were given a week timeshare from his mom and her husband for anywhere in the world.  I figure this fall will be a good time to go- because we will either be a little pregnant (and can always cancel if we are having issues) or I will be depressed from another failed cycle and stuck in between insurrances with no treatments scheduled until the next year.  Either way- this trip (especially the planning) has/is great at getting my infertility focused mind distracted onto other things!  Now we just need to pick a place to go! Any suggestions!? :)

Now- my Saturday pictures!

As you can see - it needed some work!

 Sidney Dog in her Pool!

 "Smiling" for the Camera

 Some flowers we got!

 The finished front!!! (well most of it! I could only get so much with my phone!)

Now just waiting for football season... GO VOLS!!

7dp5dt

Heading towards the end of my 2ww and boy am I ready for it to be over.  With the extremely poor qualtiy of this cycle (egg/sperm/drop in estrogen, etc) as well as our poor embryo quality, I'm ready for my bfn so I can move on.  Of course I still have hope that it would have worked, but I feel like at least this way I won't be so disappointed when it is over.  I haven't really been having any symptoms.  Occasionally pressure or a cramp in the ovary/pooch area, migraines the last two days (but those also increase frequency around my period) but that is about it.  On another note, much to my husbands pleasure, since starting IVF and even more since the progesterone, my boobs are HUGE!  They seriously look fake.  I think I have grown almost two cup sizes (plus maybe 5lbs since I've been lazy) since we started this fertility journey! 

I found this website from another girl's blog which I found interesting about what happens after 3/5 day transfer: NYU Fertility Center  -- So I guess the question is -- should I POAS or not!?  I am leaning towards yes at some point before my beta just to mentally prepare myself.  I am lucky that I am not scheduled to work that day.  If it is negative, my doctor did say that I could immediately start another cycle (as long as I have no residual fluid in my abdomen/lungs and my ovaries aren't still enlarged), but I think I might wait one month and then do it.  I don't know!

Here are some pictures of my past week...

At the Nationals Game two days before transfer - only a few rows behind third base!

Picture of the Washington Monument from the Nationals Stadium

The hubby - barely fitting into the gown - right after transfer while I was on bedrest distracting myself from my very very full bladder! No bedpan for me!

Our babies first picture in their new home - of course it makes it to the fridge!

My Baby Girl Sidney all pooped out from going to Bark in the Park where she won 4th place for best trick!

My husband and I hosted a Mother's Day Brunch for his mom who lives close by - and her husband and my sister in law came.  I'm not much of a cook - but ever since we got married I have been trying!  I was so excited - because I got out our REALLY nice wedding china that we've never used! I was more excited about the menu - so I'll share it - and even for you non-cooks - if I can do it you can- and everything turned out great!!!

Raspberry - Orange Sunrise - I made a non-alcoholic version for myself (dork!)

Strawberry Parfaits - for an appetizer

Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Casserole

Raspberry Cream Cheese Muffins

and of course dessert!

Peanut Butter Pie

Sunday...

I don't really have much to say... Just continuing the daily Bravelle shots.  It was such a beautiful Palm Sunday today  - quite a difference a day makes (Saturday was full of thunderstorm and tornado warnings with torrential downpours!).  Went to church, had lunch with the in laws and went to my husbands lacrosse game.  I just felt like sharing this picture (even though I definitely am NOT a photographer).  I took it when we were at the Colosseum in Rome last fall...

No matter what happens I know that God has a plan for us.  I need to keep remembering to put my trust in Him and it will all work out.  Everything happens for a reason...