I am such a Slacker..

I have been wanting to post since my BFN.. but since then I feel like I have been working a ton and busy with weddings, volunteering, and suprisingly reading! (On a seperate note- I highly suggest reading The Art of Racing in the Rain- very good and pretty quick read).

Last week I went for my bllod test to confirm what I already knew. Yeah.. my office FORGOT to call me with the results. Even though I already knew them I still wanted the official confirmation to stop everything... AND I really wanted a big beer (or two) to "celebrate." I called the office and it closes at noon on Thursdays for research time for the docs ir something (I go to a large teaching hospital). I left a message hoping that the nurses still check it, but never got a phone call back. So that evening I called the nurse on call. She was like oh yeah.. I was wondering why I never saw your name on the sign in list so I didn't know you got your blood work done. Well I'm sorry, I'm a nurse too, and if my patient was suppose to come in for important lab work and I didn't think she did, I would have called to check in - make sure everything was ok and that she didn't forget. But whatever that is just me. However- I had gotten up on my day off at 7 am to get my blood drawn. I didn't sign in because the last time I had talked with anyone from the office they said just come in for bloodwork. The nurse obviously didn't have my lab values so she had to call around and find a doc who had access to them. When she FINALLY called she confirmed it and said my RE would call me the next day.

Well, at 8 am the next day ( my other day off) my RE called and woke me up. She caught ne completely off guard and wasn't able to ask any of my questions that I had. She pretty much blamed our bad embryos on my husbands bad sperm, but failed to mention anything about the poor quality eggs they retrieved ( which I shrill blame on them and their lack of monitoring me closely and mismanaging my meds). When I asked about it she kinda talked about it, but changed the subject back to my husbands sperm and how she wanted to talk with the urologist about ways to improve the sperm. She told me she'd call me back Monday... yup still waiting on that call. I know I could have called her, but I've been busy and there really isn't anything we are going to do right this second. Still planning on hopefully starting our next IVF round in June. So now I've just been excited about trying to start exercising again! I was doing so good before last IVF so now just trying to get into again.

I hope everyone is good and have been excited for so many blogging buddies BFP! Hoping soon I'm right there with ya! I'll try to post more regularly, but I am a pretty boring person! :-)

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The Waiting Game...

I feel like all I've been doing since last January (of 2009) is waiting.... Waiting for that positive test to say that we are to be parents... But a year an a half later... I'm still waiting.

Ever since we threw out the birth control, I feel like our lives have been on hold... we haven't wanted to plan too far in advance, because we were hoping we'd become pregnant... and a baby changes everything!

My husband and I had been looking into selling our townhome and buying a larger single family home.  We had even met with a realtor and then the next day found out that our chance of conceiving naturally was less than one percent.  So needless to say that those plans are on hold.  Why spend all that money on a large single family house if we can't fill it?  So now we are waiting to see what happens with IVF before we make those kinds of decisions.

I've also been wanting to change the area I work it.  As a critical care nurse, these three to four stressful twelve hour shifts a week are KILLING me!  As a nurse, we are lucky that there are many specialties that we can work in.  I haven't applied to any new areas because I didn't want to get a new job, then get pregnant and want to go on maternity leave nine months later.  Plus, I have been extremely lucky that my current manager is working with my schedule with the upcoming cycle... Plus I can't complain... my insurance is covering the majority of our IVF.  Through this experience though, I have found what I truly want to do.  I would like to work in an infertility clinic.  Finding out you may never have children is devastating and the whole process, with all the shots, blood tests, ultrasounds, etc can be scary and intimidating.  I feel like after going through the process that so many other couples have gone through it will just make me a better nurse and person.

And now  I'm waiting some more.  Waiting for my period to start so we can get this cycle started!  The closer I get to the date it is SUPPOSE to start, the more nervous I'm getting.  I feel like I am not having any of my pre-period symptoms... so I'm just hoping its not thinking about skipping a month or taking its time!