Slacking on Updates...

Thanks Courtney for showing your concern- and getting me to update!  When I'm working 12 hour shifts, I'm in no mood to update afterwards!  We also went to Pittsburgh over the weekend so I haven't been at a computer either... I am technically 9 wks and 5 days today!

Ultrasound this past Friday looked good!  Baby still had a heartbeat.  Appointment took forever.  We got there at the usual- 7:15 and didn't get seen until almost 9am!  Right after the appointment we drove to Pittsburgh where hubby's dad lives.  We hung out with him and took the puppy to this AWESOME dog park called Misty Pines Dog Park.  Sidney was having so much fun there, that she literally started crying (well, whining/whimpering) when it was time to go.  Before we left, we told my hubby's dad the good news.  He was excited for us.  Since all our parents know we are going through infertility treatments and when we've been doing them, I guess they were kind of expecting it.  Plus- I  CAN NOT hide my boobs anymore.  They are a dead giveaway.

I had my first OB appointment on Monday- it was just a 2hr get my history appointment and explain how all this was going to work.  Apparently appointments every 4 weeks for the first 28wks and then every two weeks, and the closer you get- then every week.  When the nurse midwife came in, I don't think she had exactly read that I had just had an ultrasound three days previously, so she preformed one at the last minute.  It took her forever to find the baby (my bladder was full) and she hadn't done ultrasounds in a while since they have an ultrasound tech that does them for her.  My appointment was just so late that everyone had left.... But finally she found little Baby and the heart was beating away and she said everything looked good.  I am scheduled for a detailed "first ultrasound" next Tuesday and then my next appointment with the actual doctor is September 23.  I'm thinking about doing the NT scan if my insurance covers it- just so we can see the baby again.  I really want to get an ultrasound everyday- and have been tempted to walk over to L&D and beg them for an ultrasound while I'm working.... am I crazy???? (I know I ask that a lot).

I still haven't had a whole lot of symptoms.  I have been getting bad migraines- but I feel like they are mostly related to being at work- but they will last over a day (I will probably post about how bad work is getting on another day- just to vent).  I know I say I haven't had a whole lot of symptoms a lot- which some people probably think is great- but it just makes me very nervous.  Everytime I don't have food aversions or I am not hungry- I freak out.  Last night I didn't get up to pee in the middle of the night and today I'm not as hungry. I'm pretty sure I'm reading too much into everything.  I don't know.  I have been thinking about getting a Doppler (or renting one) after this ultrasound, just to ease my mind.  I know that the farther I get along, the less likely it is, but I am NOT lucky!  Any suggestions on the no symptoms/ possibly renting/buying a Doppler?  I'll just feel so much better after I reach the second trimester. Almost there... Keep growing little baby!

Hubby and I leave for Nashville tomorrow. That is where I grew up and my grandparents still live there.  We are celebrating my grandfather's 80th birthday on Saturday and having a mini-family reunion.  I think once my brother and sisters see me, they are going to know something is going on.  Like I have said- I can't hide these boobs.  I'm up like two cup sizes- and for someone who had a flat stomach (that isn't flat anymore) and always wore fitted tshirts- I don't have ANY shirts that fit good anymore (or at least that I feel comfortable in- I'm my biggest critic).  I have been wearing loose fitting sundresses- which will be good in the 100 degree Tennessee heat- but will definitely give it away.  I want one more ultrasound before we go!  I just want to make sure before the rest of my family finds out!  My husband jokes with the doc and says I would get an ultrasound everyday if I could- which is totally true.  Something is wrong with me....

Anyways- I guess that is it- I will post some "fun" not boring you with my stress related pregnancy that I'm sure no one likes to hear me complain about soon- and lots of pictures.... since I am obsessed with pictures... and my dog.  :)

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Here is a pic of little one!  I'm 9 weeks (it was from this past Friday)

am i crazy?

So over the last couple days- I thought my symptoms were getting worse- more gagging and definitely more food aversions. I was hungry constantly- if I didn't eat every few hours I thought I was going to pass out or throw up.

But then last night I came home from work with a horrible migraine. I wasn't even a little bit hungry. The thought of food made me want to vomit. I took two tylenol pm and went to bed.... without dinner. I thought I was going to wake up in the middle of the night or early this morning starving... but I didn't. I woke up this morning- dare say it- normal? No food aversions no nausea... just not very hungry.

I dunno. Maybe I an overanalyzing everything too much. My husband tells me to stop stressing. I know there is nothing I can do to change anything that happens, but its just so hard. I want this little baby so bad.

This is going to be a long day. Ultrasound tomorrow. Should be nine weeks....

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Beta #2

Beta #2 came back 448... doubling time of 41hrs (at 15dp3dt).

I am soooo freaked out/nervous/stressed.

I feel like the numbers are on the lower side, or they aren't doubling fast enough, or that something will go wrong.  Everything I have read says that the numbers/doubling time are fine, but I feel like compared to the blogs I read, it is lower.  I need to stop googling and reading blogs!!  It is stressing me out!

I go back Wednesday for Beta #3 and if it still looks good, then ultrasound next week.

Praying... Praying.... Praying.... This is all in God's hands -- I need to stop trying to take control because I can't.

Since I'm stressed- I am posting pictures of a much less stressful place/time...

These are from our Mediterranean Adventure last fall... about a month or two before we got diagnosed.  I thought- we are going on vacation... we are relaxed.... there will be lots of wine... we'll definitely come back pregnant!  Little did I know...

 The coast of Greece... It was beautiful

 In front of the Parthenon- on the Acropolis in Athens

 Some of the coast of Greece- on our way to the Temple of Poseidon

Beautiful Greek Sunset over the Mediterranean

5dp3dt... ugh

So- after our transfer, I was hopeful.  We had one perfect 8-cell and one perfect 7-cell. 

But now, five days into my two week wait- it is getting really difficult for me to stay so optimistic.  I have been having a ton of pressure/fullness/cramping in the pooch area since the day after transfer (so I know it can't be related to implantation).  I know this can be a result of  the endom.etrium, but who knows.  I'm just feeling more depressed about the whole cycle now -- and totally stressing about it (which could be one reason why my stomach feels like that as well).  I want this to work so bad.  I wish there was a sign or something I could do to make sure this works, but there isn't. 

I have been taking it easy since transfer, but today is my first day back at work. I don't think it is good to be moving around and lifting ICU patients, but who knows.  I can't take off more work than I already have!

Ugh.  I am sorry I haven't been commenting much on everyone's blogs.  I've been trying to keep my distance a little big from blogger since I was comparing every single person's successful and unsuccessful cycle to mine- which just wasn't helping on the stress level.

One week til beta. 

Also- the car people called to let us know that our car was almost at the cut off of being totalled (basically the cost has to be 75% or more than what the car is worth and ours is a little more than 90% of that 75%-- I have no idea if that actually makes sense).  Hubby and I test drove some crossovers the other day after church.  I'm kind of liking the Che.vy Equin.ox.  We'll find out this week if the insurrance will just decide to total the car or repair it.  Just one more thing, right?

And because I'm obsessed with my dog- here is a picture of her with a dog statue down in DC at the FDR Memorial...